What is gained by loss?
In April, I learned much about loss, big and small, and how to LIVE while staring loss in the face.
While April brought a car accident, an illness for me, followed by another two week fast, I gained much from the losses that were associated with each. I lost my car, but not my family. I lost my anger towards the person who caused the accident and I gained perspective. During my illness I spent 11 days in bed, but gained more independent children. My fasts are always time consuming and take a bit away from family time, but I gain health. I appreciate food so much more when I finally eat again after two weeks.
No sooner had I recovered from my illness and I heard my dear friend was ill.
Sometimes, being brave in life means being brave in the face of death.
I didn’t let the voices of fear creep in telling me that I didn’t belong at my friend’s side. I was bold and contacted her daughter who welcomed me into that ICU room with open arms. I put on my gown and gloves, stood by my friend, held her hand, and prayed for healing. Her healing came shortly after when she no longer had to suffer the pains of this world.
I learned much from her son’s death 29 years ago. {I wrote about Mark, here.} I wrote in Mark’s letter, “You taught me that life can be taken away without warning. You taught me that you don’t always get to say goodbye in person.” I didn’t get that “goodbye” with her son, but I was blessed to see my friend shortly before she passed away. God comforted me in a way that He knew would bring a whole lot of healing to my weary heart: to see my friend and be able to say goodbye. I had really hoped it was not the last goodbye and I didn’t say it audibly.
In the midst of losing Cindie, I gained a renewed friendship with her daughter. I was also reminded of all the lessons her life taught me these past 30+ years. I have gained much.
- Smiling through pain is brave
- Having emotional strength all while my physical body betrays me
- Talking about death is okay
- Reminiscing about those we lost is healing and keeps their memory alive
- Just show up and love people
- Be braver with my life
I can focus on the losses or I can focus on the gains. Find the gains in your life. They are there. Even during the losses, they are there. Dig for them. Recognize them, pause, and be grateful. Be brave with your life.
