My adventure? Our goal this year as a family? LIVE. What do I need to change in my life to really LIVE?
Yeah, this month has been filled with wrestling with some stuff I stirred up. Emotions have been high. Relief, sadness, freedom, and heartache are just a few of the feelings that are bubbling just under the surface. Deeper, there is anger, frustration, confusion, and calmness. Sitting with those emotions leads to a self evaluation and prayer life that motivated me to dig deep into the Word of God along with several other books. I struggle hard with bitterness, but focus on the goal.
The goal is reconciliation with the past, while being hopeful for a better future. I’m getting there.
Brené Brown says in her book Rising Strong, “We need to be brave enough to want to know more….Curiosity is a sh*t starter. But that’s okay. Sometimes we have to rumble with a story to find the truth.”
That’s what I’ve been doing. Seeking answers (wanting to know more), getting tossed in the middle of the arena, wrestling with the responses (rumbling with it), in order to find truth. I’m doing the hard things necessary in order to find peace, and create hope. I want to unfurl the truth and scourge out any cobwebbed corners that are covering up half truths. Torn between my comfort zone and the bloody arena, I have the courage to do the hard things that curiosity has called me to do, by putting on the armor of God and stepping into the arena. (Ephesians 6:11)
I am learning. Pray through the hard stuff, not just about the hard stuff, but press through it with prayer. The mantras of “pray hard”, “love fearlessly”, run through my mind on repeat, followed by “write on” and “tell the truth”.
The adventure continues.
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