For some people, sharing their life is as easy as taking the next breath. I am comfortable with few people knowing the nitty gritty of my life, baggage, and private life. So, for me, blogging publicly about my life and being vulnerable in a larger arena is, in itself, an act of bravery.
To be honest, the fear of not being good enough has prevented me from sharing up until now.
In July, I was on a trip ALL.BY.MYSELF. It was glorious. I spent several days alone. I was supposed to be on a beach for most of my days, but it rained almost the entire time I was there. I was able to see one glint of the sun the first night I arrived.
The next day, the storms started rolling in.
The rest of my time was spent inside, writing.
There was a time when I closed my journal, notebook, and Bible and said, “Nope. I’m not doing this.”
As I sat back and exhaled deeply, feeling frustrated with my writing, I decided that this wasn’t going to be writing that someone would see. I was working on my book. I’ve been “working on my book” for over 10 years on and off. A project I never thought would be worthy of someone reading; I didn’t actively pursue a deadline.
While I’ve never audibly heard from God, there have been a couple times in my life where I have had impressions or thoughts that are not my own, “speak” to me. This was one of those times.
“This is My story to tell.”
Okay Lord, I get it. Yours, not mine. I should be humble. I should listen.
The Scripture from I Peter 5:6-7 came to mind.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
So I picked up my pen and began writing again, with a renewed purpose. The words flowed freely.